She doesn't REALLY talk

Anyone who has ever had a child with a speech delay can feel me on this one.  Having to constantly explain to strangers, at the grocery store or playground that your child doesn't really talk.  No, she cannot tell you her name or how old she is.  Yes, I know all kids talk at their own pace, and yes, all mothers in the beginning are the only ones to understand what their child is saying, but this... well...this is something else entirely.  This is not refusal to talk or just "taking it all in" and being choosey with her words.  She doesn't really talk.  "Hi" is in her repertoire, so is "Bye" we have even mastered "mom", yeah we love to use that one like it is going out of style.  "Daddy" took a good bit longer, so did any recognizable term for her brother or sister.  Luckily, (and yes, I use that word ironically) because of her cleft we had early access to speech therapy.  The process of seeing if your child is behind enough to qualify is emotionally difficult to say the least.  On one hand, you want your child to have all the assistance available to them in order to get the ball rolling as early as possible.  On the other hand, having someone trained in the field, telling you that your child is in fact behind feels like a kick to the stomach, like ice in the gut.  It is such a roller coaster of emotions.  Wanting what is best for your amazing child and also wanting to not really face that they are not able to do things that other "typical" children of their age can do.  When they ask "can she do this", "does she do that" and you keep shaking your head "no" and sometimes even second guessing yourself "does she do that, I can't recall".  After going through the process and being granted speech therapy it did wind up being a relief knowing that we would have help and no, we were not crazy or attention seeking.  Someone would be giving us tools to help our daughter.  What an amazing difference these people made in our lives.  First, we learned some simple sign language.  That in and of itself was life changing, it totally opened up our world of communication.  Prior to sign everything was so frustrating.  Just knowing what she wanted to eat or drink or when she was done eating and wanted out of her high chair would end in horrible crying fits and quite often result in her banging her head on the floor or the back of her chair.  Sign was our lifeline.  It helped ease our way until some small words were able to be understood and used consistently.  Some therapy sessions were hard, trying to get a toddler to do anything she doesn't want to do when she doesn't feel like doing it can be frustrating.  Some weeks it seemed like we didn't accomplish much of anything but the homework we were given was invaluable.  Things to try with her that we never in a million years would have thought of on our own.  Even just the simple task of making her give us an answer, even if it is in sign language.  Not just taking her out of her highchair but asking her if she was ready to get out.  Things I didn't worry about at all with my other children.  Also, the simple task of narrating everything I was doing around her.  Adding words to my sentence I wouldn't have normally said.  "Do you want the  bright, big, red ball?"  Instead of just "Do you want the red ball?"  "Let's turn the light switch on" rather than just turning it on and moving on with life.  There were so many things we did all day long that were a learning opportunity for her.  At some point things started rolling down hill, picking up words daily, even though most were not pronounced correctly and might be difficult for anyone else to discern.  Finally, we reached age 3 where we had to transition into the school system's therapy.  Going through tests all over again to see if my child was behind enough to continue with the amazing work that was critical to her successful speech.

The tools we needed to continue to collect in order to help her be understood by teachers in her future or classmates.  In the end, she did qualify and is currently going in once a week (soon to be twice a week) in order to learn to pronounce words more clearly as well as add the endings to words that she often just leaves off.  Only time will tell what this will look like when she is actually in school at 5 but for now my husband and I are so grateful for the assistance to help our sweet, little girl to communicate with the world.   So if you are at the grocery store and a little girl excitedly tells you “Merry Christmas!” and it is February, just smile and tell her “Merry Christmas” back, it took a lot to get her this far!